


365 days

by KuroFriDay



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Hide taking care of Kaneki, I'm sorry XD, M/M, Poisoned kaneki, Poor Kaneki, Sad Hide, forgive meh guys, protective Kaneki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 19:09:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17249759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuroFriDay/pseuds/KuroFriDay
Summary: If you were originally the one that was aimed to be poisoned, and only have 365 days left to live... If you were the one... But, your friend wouldn't allow them to hurt you.. So instead... Your friend...Was the poisoned one...





	365 days

**Author's Note:**

> The drawings are from my friend :D

 

 ******_"5.. 4... 3... 2... 1... HAPPY NEW YEAR KANEKI!"_ **

  **_"HAPPY NEW YEAR HIDE!"_**

  Your friend threw his hands up while you shouted crazily like a naughty kid. _Staring at the crowd, oh how excited they are, kids on their beloved parents' shoulders, maybe trying to reach the silver moon? There are also a few people hanging off scaffolding to get a better view, maybe a better view of the stars? Or the moon?_ You guessed as your friend nudged your arm and pointed at the sky. "What is it?" You asked, then you realised...

  T _he fireworks, the best thing to admire on this memorable day, some fireworks shoot straight up before exploding into thousand of sparkles, some whirled in a spiral. The fireworks were oh-so colouful, thousands and thousands of them were glimmering in the sky, maybe it is a hope for this new year?_

                                                              

  Your friend's eye sparkled as he gazed excitingly at this breath-taking view, you can't help but smile upon seeing this, he was never this happy before, you know, after being a ghoul and all.

  "Hey Hide, why don't we come here and celebrate next year? It's gonna be fun!" Your friend suddenly turned over and look at you making you blush as he looked like a cute little kitty begging for its owner to play with it.

  "O-Oh, okay, sure Kaneki!" You said.

  "Promise?"

  "Yeah, bud. I promise."

**If you were originally the one that was aimed to be poisoned...**

  You and your friend were walking back home, and that's when it all started.

**And only have 365 days left to live...**

  You saw someone who was wearing a hood went near you.

**If you were the one...**

  Your ghoul friend realised it too, he stared at that msyterious figure, kakugan brighter than usual.

**But...**

  Out of the blue, that hooded one took out a syringe and aimed your shoulder. He then inserted that needle into your skin. No... It wasn't yours...

**Your friend wouldn't allow them to hurt you...**

  It was Kaneki's, he stumbled and groaned in pain. But then steadied himself. That hooded figure activated his Kagune and it sent you flying towards a wall. Black dots clouded your vision.

**Instead...**

  Your friend stepped forward and activated his Kagune as well, stabbing that ghoul over and over again, until he was completely motionless.

**Your friend...**

  Crimson tenticales went back into your friend's body, he held his arm in pain, leaning against the wall for support. That's what you can see before everything went black. You then felt strong arms carrying you.

**Was the poisoned one...**

**..........**

  "K-Kaneki...?" You whispered as you rubbed your eyes, you can't remember much about what happened before, you just remembered how your friend protected you, looking for your friend, you realised that you are in your house, _how did we ended up in here?_ You wondered. You then heard soft groans from the corner of the room which made you turn around and found the ghoul rubbing his arm painfully. You sprinted forward and embraced the silver-haired ghoul tightly. He embraced you back weakly.

  "T-Thank God you're okay, H-Hide," you realised his voice shook as he spoke, but you just shrugged it off as if nothing ever happened. "You okay, right, Kaneki? Thanks for protecting me there, that was so cool!" You didn't even remembered that is was your friend who took your place that time, and got injected instead.

  A _nd because of that injection he took for you, h_ _e only remain 365 days left before he die, Hide._

  _365 days, Hide._

  _365 days..._

  _How can you be so careless, Hideyoshi?_

 

..........

 

 _3_ 02 _days..._

   5th March was the day you realised something is happening to your ghoul. _He isn't eating, and he is getting thinner and thinner._ You visited Touka today and asked her about the reason why your friend isn't eating recently, she just shrugged and told you, "Maybe he dosen't want to eat human meat in front of you?" Which made sense since Kaneki was that type of people.

  You flashed Touka your trademark grin and left her home, waving to her as she slightly smiled at you. You decided to lock yourself in your room and wait for your friend to finish his meal just like how Touka advised you to.

  You opened the door and entered your home, closing the door behind you gently as your one-eyed ghoul might be still asleep. You search around the house for your friend and found a sleeping figure on the floor. _Wait what, he isn't supposed to be on the floor,_ you thought. So you decided to wake the sleeping oh-so soundly boy up.

  "Hey, bud. Wake up," you wake the ghoul up, gently shaking his shoulder. Kaneki woke up and you patted his head, playfully but not hard. You then gave the ghoul a plate of fresh meat brought as your face grimaced at the stench. To be honest it was really disgusting for you, knowing that what you were staring at is human meat.

  He stared at you with the most innocent and clueless eyes so you told him, "You gotta eat, you know man? You're killing yourself like this. Here, I'll be in another room while you eat, yeah? Call me when you're done," Kaneki nodded with a small smile and you left the room.

  You went to the kitchen and decided to eat a doughnut while waiting for your friend, maybe he will finish his food by the time you finish too? You slumped against the sofa and began munching on your doughnut while staring blankly at the TV, usually you couldn't help but to turn on the TV and enjoy some movies but today was different, your friend isn't feeling well and you watch TV when you know he is suffering? No way.

  You finished your delicious doughnut and stood up, then debated whether or not to check on the boy, it had been 15 minutes and ghouls usually eat their food at lightning speed, don't they? You peeked at the young ghoul and found him staring at the disgusting piece of human meat, his eyes were unfocused and glassy, which worried you.

  There were only few bites on the meat. You sighed then kneeled down in front of him as he stared at you with unfocused eyes, you caressed his pale face and ruffled his snowy white hair then asked, "Kaneki, why didn't you eat?"

                                                                        

  He lowered his head, his silky hair covered his face. "I.. I'm kinda f-full..." Your friend told you softly as he placed his hand on his chin, rubbing it. You knew he was lying, what is really happening to him...? 

  Since he did not eat even when you were not with him, you figured that the reason he wasn't eating was not because of what Touka said. You sighed once again then stood up and brought a fork and a knife. _Here goes nothing,_ you thought as you started cutting the human meat, when you saw blood on your fork and knife, you nearly vomitted, it was sure disgusting, but you had to bear it, Kaneki must at least eat a few more pieces, right?

  You grabbed the piece of meat with your bare hands and let your friend smell it. "Come on Kaneki... Eat up, pal..." you sighed and continued, you could not believe you were saying this, "It's... N-Nice, d-delicious... Human meat, K-Kaneki..."

  It took a couple of minutes and a few 'Eat up, Kaneki's to get him to open his mouth, you realised his lips were quivering as he ate the human meat, his face grimaced every second when he was eating.

  "Hey, Kaneki... Are you sick? You don't look so well... Are you okay?" You asked, concerned. You earned a small nod and a soft 'Yea, I'm.. F-Fine.." from the ghoul. You smiled at him and grabbed another piece.

  "It's the last piece, Kaneki... I promise."

  He didn't eat that last piece.

 

..........

 

 _254_ _days..._

  22th April was the night you decided to check on Kaneki. He told you we wanted to sleep early tonight as he was extremely tired. You opened the door and found a frail figure sitting on the bed, warm amber orbs immediately met tired steel ones. Your lips curved upwards into a gentle smile and you stroked his soft white locks. He stared at you with half-lidded eyes.

  "What's wrong, 'Neki?" You asked, concerned. He shifted on his bed and avoided your gaze. Sighing, you patted his head as he groaned tiredly.

  "Can't sleep?" This time you finally got an answer. "I'm... S-So tired, y-yet I can't sleep..." The answer from the ghoul was barely a whisper, he sounded so tired, so weak... His small voice made your heart shatter...

  "Come here, buddy," You said as you enveloped the teen. You placed your warm hand on his cheeks and allowed him to lean into the touch. You rubbed small circles on his back and whispered into his ear, "I'll sleep with ya, okay?"

  "O-Okay.." He said as he laid down on the bed and started shifting to a more comfortable position. You laid beside him and wrapped your arms around the boy protectively, you felt him curl up as you inhaled his scent. He muttered a small 'Good night' to you.

                                                                     

  "Sleep well, Ken. I'll be right beside you, kay?" You said and he nodded. You looked around the room and realised tonight was a cold night, which was weird. You tightened your grip on him and gazed at the boy, both of your faces were so close you could even feel his breath. Your eyelids grew heavier and everything went black.

  You woke up at midnight with a shivering and sweating Kaneki still in your arms. You ran a hand through his silver hair as he groaned and shifted once again.

  "Ken..?" He tiredly hummed in response, "Are you okay, buddy? You are sweating and shivering," You said as you caressed his delicate face, he nuzzled your chest and sighed.

  "I-I'm cold... Hide.." He said. You rubbed his back in order to warm him and rested your chin on his head which was damp with sweat.

  "I'll bring you more blankets, is that okay with you, Ken?" He shook his head and whimpered softly. "Y-You're... Warm, Hide.." Your friend breathed and he clutched your shirt as if life depended on you. You held his sweaty hand and rubbed it with your thumb.

  "Alright then, Kaneki. I'll warm ya, any discomfort? Maybe headache or nausea?" Your voice was flooded with pity and concern, a hint of fear and sadness, your friend never acted like this, whenever he had a nightmare, he would just shrug it off as if nothing ever happened.

  "N-No... Just.. Tired... I f-feel so... cold..." He answered and slowly wrap his soft arms around you. "T-Thanks, Hide.." He whispered to you as you smiled at him, and he managed to do the same. You stared at the boy until he was fast asleep and you allow yourself to doze off, still holding your dear friend in your arms.

  You could feel your best friend shifting and shivering the whole night, was he cold? Was he hot? Was he in pain?  You don't even know. You tried to warm him.

  Keyword: Tried.

  It was no use, the teen in your arms kept shivering even though you tucked him under the sheets then wrapped your arms and even legs around the sleeping boy securely. You felt him shift once again.

  "I can't... Sleep.. "

  "It's okay, Kaneki. Just try... I'll be right here, alright? Just try to sleep, bud. I'm here.."

  _What is happening to him? Why can't he sleep? Why is he acting like this? Is he in pain? Is he suffering?_

_**You know the answer, Nagachika. You were there when he was struck..** _

**_You know the answer._ **  
 

 ..........

 

_197 days..._

  18th June was the day the lavender-haired ghoul decided to visit. It was morning when you were calming the hyperventilating ghoul, you heard a knock on the door.

  "Kaneki? I'm going to answer the door, yeah? You better now, bud?" You told him and received a small nod from the ghoul. You opened the door and before you stood a beautiful girl, Touka. You immediately flashed the girl your most radiant smile.

  "Heya, Touka-chan! What brings you here, sweet girl?"

  "Tsk, don't call me that, Hide. I came here to check on you both, you said Kaneki did not eat when you are around, how is he now?" Upon hearing this, you sighed and just simply said, "Just come in, Touka-chan. Kaneki is, well, I don't know..."

  Once the girl stepped in, her purple orbs met silver ones. She immediately ran to Kaneki in order to take a closer look of the poisoned one.

  "What the heck, baka! You look terrible! Are you eating well?" She exclaimed in a concerned tone. But the so-called Eyepatch just stared at her. There was a dead silence but a weak voice broke the silence.

  _**"W-Who are... you?"**_

  Everyone went silent. Your eyes widened as the girl beside you gasped while covering her mouth. "H-Hide, she's a g-ghoul! Be c-careful!" The boy's kakugan flared brightly again, prepared to attack the unknown ghoul. Just before your friend wanted to attack, he found his legs too weak to even stand and fell down as you dived forward to catch him.

                                                                   

  "K-Kaneki... She's Touka. Kirishima Touka. Y-You don't recognize her?" You whispered sadly while helping your best friend back to the sofa. Your ghoul friend scanned the girl in front of him again, his brows are furrowed as he tried to recognize the person he once held dear. He slightly shook his head and stared at you. You sighed while giving Kaneki a cup of warm water.

  "I'm going to talk to this girl for a moment, okay? Stay here," you told the ghoul with the most gentle voice as he nodded in response. You leaded Touka to your room and signalled her to take a seat.

  "Touka-chan, Kaneki is acting weird these days. Does this often happen to ghouls?" You asked the girl,then you knew that this is actually a stupid question, you internally cursed yourself. _Baka, if this often happen to ghouls, why Touka-chan looked so shocked when Kaneki does not recognize her?_

  "Hide, I'm sorry. I d-don't know what's happening to him either..." Her voice was shaky, as if she wanted to just burst into tears in front of you, but knowing her, she wanted to stay strong for the sake of everyone. Who could blame her? Her close friend just forgotten her. She took a deep breath, attempting to calm herself, and continued, "Hide, Kaneki has never act like this... Maybe you s-should talk to him... Ask him what is wrong with him."

  "I asked him before, many, many times, Touka-chan... He... Dosen't want to tell m-me," You said with a sigh. The ghoul gently placed her hands on your slightly trembling shoulder and embraced you. You tensed, but relaxed few moments later. You then heard sobs escaping her lips, she was crying.

  "Hide, I'm sorry to tell you this but I'm going overseas to study. I-I'm sorry I leave you both in this situation, Hide. But please, take care o-of Kaneki, alright?" She said between choked sobs as you rubbed her back. You can't even muster a smile for her. _Smiles aren't really useful when you're worried sick of your friend, are they?_

  "It's o-okay... Touka-chan, you study hard, yeah? Don't worry, I will take care of him," you promised her. 'If you need me, be sure to contact me.... Please...' was her the words that escaped her slightly quivering lips before she left.

  Soon, you sat on the sofa with your friend. You gazed at him, and asked, "Kaneki, her name is Touka Kirishima. Y-You really don't remember?"

  He shook his head.

 

..........

 

_139 days..._

   15th August was the day you surfed the Internet for a couple of random infomations. **'NEW POISON CREATED FOR BOTH HUMANS AND GHOULS, BEWARE'** was the headline on the daily news that caught your caramel brown eyes. Feeling curious, you clicked in...

  **'THIS POISON IS FOR BOTH HUMANS AND GHOULS, CREATED BY A GROUP OF GHOULS, NOW THEY ARE WANDERING AROUND TOKYO, EVERYONE IS ADVISED TO STAY AT HOME AS THOSE UNKNOWN GROUP OF GHOULS WILL STRIKE ANYTIME. THE REASON THEY DID THIS IS STILL UNKNOWN** **.** **CURRENTLY, THERE IS STILL NO CURE FOR THE POISON. IF ONE IS POISONED, THEY WILL HAVE ONE YEAR LEFT TO LIVE WHICH IS** _ **365 DAYS.**_

 ** **SIDE EFFECTS OF THIS POISON** ** ****: TIREDNESS, LOSS OF APPETITE, SWEATING, BLURRED VISION, PASSING OUT, INSOMNIA AND MEMORY LOSS.** **

****DO NOT WORRY, THE CCG IS WORKING ON TRACKING THESE GHOULS OUT. RIGHT NOW, EVERY CITIZEN IS ADVISED TO STAY AT HOME AND MAKE SURE YOUR DOOR IS LOCKED. DO GO OUT ONLY FOR BUYING NECESSITIES AND DON'T GO ALONE, CCG OFFICERS WILL BE PATROLLING AROUND SHOPPING CENTERS AND PARKS, IT IS BEST TO GO PLACES WITH THE CGG PRATROLLING THERE AS WELL.'** **

  **_What..?_** Those words you read aloud echoed in your confused mind. You were on the verge of crying, you can't believe your eyes, everything, everything Kaneki experienced, **_tiredness,_** _Kaneki always stared at you as if he doesn't understand what were you talking about for a second,_ ** _loss of appetite,_** _Kaneki wouldn't eat the meat you gave him,_ _ **sweating,**_ _Kaneki would sweat even in the coldest of times,_ _ **blurred vision,**_ _Kaneki had to narrow his eyes or even get closer to the thing you showed him,_ ** _insomnia,_** _Kaneki always twitches and trembles when he sleeps,_ _ **memory loss,**_ _Kaneki doesn't remember Touka._

  **_Kaneki... poisoned?_** Who? When? Then it hit you, you remembered everything. From the time you were celebrating new year with Kaneki, to the time he took your place and got injected instead. You attempted to calm youself as you took it all in. But then, your eyes automatically landed on those words on the monitor.

' ** _365 DAYS'_**

  _No... It can't be._

' **THEY WILL HAVE ONE YEAR LEFT TO LIVE WHICH IS 365 DAYS.'**

  _No... K-Kaneki..._

' _ **IF ONE IS POISONED, THEY WILL HAVE ONE YEAR LEFT TO LIVE WHICH IS 365 DAYS.**_ ** _'_**

  _K-Kaneki suffered so much and had to face death just... To protect me..?_

  You ran to Kaneki who was lying down on the bed and wrapped your arms his thin form. A loud sob escaped your throat and the tears started pouring. _**"Kaneki... Y-You are poisoned... Because o-of me..?"**_ You spoke as he started sobbing too.

  "H-Hide... H-How did you k-know?" The dying boy let out a choked sob then continued, "You should n-not surf Internet, H-Hide-" Your sadness switched to anger. _Trying to hide such_ ** _important_** _thing, huh Kaneki?_

  "Dammit Kaneki! Y-You should know trying to hide the fact that you are dying isn't helping! H-How could you hide somethinng like that!" You snapped. Your friend sighed and covered his face to prevent you from seeing him cry like this.

  "I'm s-sorry... Hide.. I want you to be happy, I-I don't want you to be worried b-because of me... I'm sorry I've made it worse... Hide, I d-don't want to d-die... I want to l-live on w-with you..." He whispered between painful sobs. You wanted to dissolve into a puddle of tears right then and there upon hearing this, but you had to be strong for your dying friend. You gritted your teeth and asked, "H-How many days... Left... K-Ken?"

                                                                    

  "139 days... H-Hide... I don't wanna g-go! H-Hide, please?" Your heart shattered into million pieces. _Don't cry Hideyoshi, don't cry when your friend needs you right now,_ you thought as you fought back your tears. "I'm sorry, Ken... It's okay bud... I-I'm here, please, don't be scared.." You whispered to the boy.

  "I-I can't Hide.. I-I'm scared, H-Hide! I don't wanna l-leave you! P-Please?!" Your dear friend's whole body trembled as he begged. "I s-still have a lot o-of things to d-do... I don't wanna die y-young, H-Hide..." He sounded like you were going to kill him which made you even sadder than before. It seems like it is impossible to not cry anymore.

  You just held him as he sobbed, screamed, cried and begged. You held him and shed silent tears.

 

..........

 

 _79_ _days..._

  14th October was the day everything worsened. It happened when you were tidying clothes in your friend's closet until you heard coughs in the living room. _Kaneki,_ you thought to yourself as you stood up and ran as fast as lightning towards your friend. You entered the living room and before you was a thin figure kneeling down on the floor as he coughed and coughed. You ran to his side and rubbed the ghoul's back gently in order to ease him. He coughed harshly, his whole fragile body vibrated as he coughed.

  "K-Kaneki?" You asked softly as he stopped coughing. You held his hand and squeezed it gently, it was extremely damp since he was sweating when he coughed. He panted and stared at you with tears welling up in his eyes. You felt your heart tear into pieces at the look. You was trying so hard not to just collaspe in a puddle of tears. _Breathe,_ _Hideyoshi, calm yourself down and help your friend,_ you thought to yourself as you took deep breaths.

  "B-Buddy? Let's go back to bed, okay? I'll give you coffee to drink there. Here, I'll carry you, is that okay?" You asked with the most calmest voice possible as you waited for an answer. You figured that it is best to carry the boy back to bed.

  But just as you wanted to scoop him up, he muttered a small "no" to you. You sighed and helped the ghoul up. Nothing was spoken for a while, the clock on the wall being the only thing to break the silence, before the silver-haired boy whispered to you,"H-Hide.. I-I'm okay, I c-can walk by myself.." you wanted to protest, but decided against it.

  You walked beside him, leading him the way to the bedroom. Out of the blue, the poisoned boy collasped in front of you, you stood rooted to the ground as he fell, your eyes widened and you froze. You immediately kneeled down to your now unconcious friend and shook him.

                                                                        

  "K-Kaneki..." You whispered as you realised you ghoul friend was now unconcious. Slowly and gently, you scooped up the limp boy and carried him to the bed. You placed your best friend on the bed and caressed his face, God his face was extremely pale. You glanced at your sleeping friend once more before walking to the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee for him when he wakes up.

\--Time Skip--

  You opened the door and took a peek of your friend on the bed. He was still unconcious, which worried you. You took a chair and sat beside the bed. You placed your hand on his chest to check whether or not he was still breathing, you sighed in relief as you felt ths ghoul's steady breathing. _Good, at least he was not dead,_ you thought as you smiled sadly.

  You kept your hand on the one-eyed ghoul's chest, feeling it slowly rise and fall calmed you. Your other hand reached out and placed it on the other boy's hand as you clenched your jaw, trying not to cry. You groaned tiredly and stared at the unconcious one. You were squeezing the boy's slightly cold hands once again.

  "C'mon, K-Kaneki... Wake up, w-will ya? I-It's painful seeing you l-like this, b-bud..." you said as you shook him gently, trying to wake the figure on the bed up.

  Nothing happened, you gazed at the clock, 11:00P.M., _time flies, huh?_ You slowly stood up and walked out of the room. You came in again a couple of minutes later with a cup of coffee in your hand, you placed it on the nightstand beside ths ghoul's bed.

  "I trust you, K-Kaneki.. I know you're gonna wake u-up.." was all you said as you sighed and this time, sitting on the floor. You were so tired and sleepy, you didn't even notice you were going to fall asleep when your heavy eyelids fluttered close. You slept, and you waited for your friend to wake up...

  You felt a hand gently touching your shoulder. _Nah, could be a dream,_ you thought to yourself and ignored the touch. "Hide..." You heard a soft voice whispering to you, it was oh-so gentle, it could be a lullaby. _Who is that?_ You wanted to say. But instead, you groaned and lifted your head up, your eyes slightly widened as you smiled.

  "Thank God you're awake... Ken.. How are you feeling?" You asked as you placed your hand on his shoulder. You gazed at the clock, _wow it's midnight,_ you thought to youself as you stood up. "I'm fine" was the answer from the ghoul. You took the coffee cup on the nightstand drank it anyway.

  "I'll go brew a cup of coffee for you," you said with a small smile on you face as you walked out of the bedroom. It was the boy's hand that grabbed your arm made you stopped dead in your tracks. You gazed back at the ghoul with a confused look.

  "Yeah?" You said as you felt your friend tightened his grip on your arm. "S-Stay with me Hide, don't g-go... Don't l-leave me..." was the reply from the boy. You sighed and sat on the chair which is placed beside the bed. Kaneki gazed at you and smiled, you heard a soft "thank you" from the silver-haired one. You waited for Kaneki to fall asleep while you admired the boy. You sighed once again, _handsome and cute boys like him does not deserve to die,_ you thought sadly.

  The whole night you were just staring, thinking... Until you unexpectedly drifted off on the chair, beside Ken's bed.

 

..........

 

 _39_ _days..._

23th November was the day you decided to bring the ghoul to a park. The weather was good today, so you figured that today is the best day to take a stroll in the park nearby. You brought Kaneki a warm jacket and wrapped it around him just to make sure he dosen't catch a cold. You grabbed your keys and locked the door.

  "Ready, bud?" You said with a grin, he smiled at you sweetly and nodded. You lead the boy to the park, a gentle wind was blowing, it ruffled your friend's silver hair and caressed your cheeks, maybe it is telling you to relax, even if your friend is dying? The park was quiet, you saw the CCG officers, they were patrolling as usual.

  Both of you found a bench and Kaneki immediately sat on the bench, you realised he started to pant already, so you shot your best friend a concerned look, and asked him. "You okay, Kaneki?"

  "I'm fine, Hide. Just tired is all," he chuckled slightly. You knew he hated being pitied by people, especially the poeple he loves, but he had no choice. Trying to relax you and your friend, you suddenly said, "Hey, remember when you were bullied by those kids? Lucky you had a strong friend like me to protect you! If not you'll be beaten in no time!"

                                                                   

  You saw your friend laughed at that. "Huh? Says the one who almost fell into the drain, who was the one who grabbed your arm and pulled you back?" You realised you lightened up the mood and began to smirk at him. "That dosen't count, Kaneki! I was thinking about something else!"

  "O-Oh, Hide! Remember when you first played fireworks with me? Pfft... You burnt youself, didn't you look at yourself that time? You looked like a girl running around yelling for help!" _Oh, that time, it was still embarassing to think about it now,_ you thought as you softly punched the ghoul's shoulder, laughing together like the good old days.

  You stared at the forest nearby the park, it was beautiful, the rustle of leaves, as they brushed against each other in the gentle breeze, was like soothing music to the ears. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, a smile playing on your lips. "The view of this park is breath-taking, huh Kaneki?" You said as you slightly opened your eyes and found the ghoul staring at the ground, sadness flooded his eyes.

  You were about to ask him something, but he started talking first. "Hide, do you remember we promised e-each other to... celebrate new year together again next year?" You went silent, then nodded.

  "I-I think I can't hold on u-until that d-day, H-Hide.. I'm sorry," he said and bit his lips, trying not to sob. You sighed and reassured him, "D-Don't be. And you're wrong, Ken. We will celebrate new year one last time, I'm sure of that." You tried to calm yourself, even if you wanted to burst into tears right now. "I-I hope so.." was the reply from him.

  The silence that followed was eerie.

 

...........

 

 _12_ _days..._

20th December was... Ken Kaneki's last birthday. You bought him a simple cake to celebrate the boy's last birthday. It was night time and you took out the cake from the fridge, you forced yourself to be happy for the sake of your dying best friend. You wanted him to be happy as well on his last few days.

  "Oi, Kaneki! Surprise! Happy birthday my bestest best friend in the world!" You exclaimed in a fake cheery voice, you've been using this fake voice for a long time, you hated how forced it sound like, but seeing your friend's smile was worth it all. You placed the snowy white cake that matches Kaneki's hair on the table, you then turned to the ghoul and placed a hand on his shoulder.

  "I know you can't eat the cake, but who cares about that? Just make a wish, that's the main reason I bought it for you," you said as you laughed softy at youself, _God I sound so forced,_ you thought to youself. The boy smiled at you and grabbed your arm, whispering a "thank you" to you.

  "What are you waiting for, bud? Here, I'll light up the candle, go ahead!" You said in a fake happy tone. You lit up the only candle on the cake and gave Kaneki a small nod. He clasped his hands together and closed his silver orbs. What the ghoul wished for wasn't in your expectation..

  **_"I wish... My best friend Hide will be happy and safe when I'm gone,"_** That moment when he said his wish aloud, you felt wet hot tears filling your chocolate brown eyes. You bit your lips and forced youself to not cry, _don't Hideyoshi, don't cry,_ you thought as you flashed him a fake smile.

  "Hey Hide, I have something for you," He said as he fished for something in his pocket. He took it out and showed it to you, in his pale palm was two bracelet, one of them had your name on it and the other had Kaneki's name on it, it was gorgeous. "See? It's a pair of bracelet for you and me, it means that we'll be there with each other if we wear it on or just hold it, it's kinda like a friendship bracelet. So when I'm gone, just wear it on and you'll know I'm there with you. Haha, sorry if it sounds so childish," The birthday boy said with a gentle smile.

  You just stared at him with wide eyes, tears were forming but you wouln't let it fall. Unfortunately, the ghoul realised that you wanted to cry, he gave you the bracelet that has his name on it and told you softly, "It's okay, Hide. Let it out."

  And just like that, tears raced down your cheeks. Gut-wrenching sobs were heard as you held the bracelet tightly. The ghoul placed his bracelet beside you and hugged you. He rubbed your back and smiled as a tear rolled down his cheeks.

                                                                      

  "I'm sorry, K-Kaneki! I'm sorry you have to f-face death so e-early, I could've p-protected you too! Kaneki, I'm a t-terrible friend, I-I'm so sorry..." You choked out between sobs. _Why is he smiling? Why Kaneki has to die? Why Kaneki out of all the citizens in Japan? Why not me instead? Why?_

"Shh, Hide. None of this nightmare is your fault, please don't blame yourself. You didn't know that time, so please, don't cry..." You found it funny, it should be you who comfort the dying one, not the other way around. You wrapped your arms around the frail one in a protective way. You both just stayed there feeling each other's warmth, not wanting this moment to end.

  He stroked your hair gently and flashed you a pained smile, then spoke. "Hide, promise me to live on when I'm gone, find youself a girl and have a family without me, okay? I want you to be happy, to smile even though I'm not here. Do this thing for me, okay Hide? I've accepted the fact that I'm going to die soon, so long time ago, so please, Hide, I'm begging you, don't cut yourself or do something else silly when I'm dead, I want you to live on without me, will you do that for me?"

  You sighed, then nodded and told him with a small smile. "Promise, Kaneki. I promise."

  "That's good, Hide. Thank you."

 

...........

 

 _1_ _day..._

_31th December, Hideyoshi._

_31th December..._

Kaneki was so very weak recently. He can't even walk and talk as loud as you, his hands were always weak and shaky, always damp with sweat. His once strong arms became very thin ones, his once beautiful steel-grey orbs soon became tired and scared ones. He dosen't want to eat anything except coffee. Heck, he often shivers and passes out on the bed, and when he wakes up, his body was always cold and sweaty.

  "Yo, Kaneki," You greeted the ghoul as you wore on the bracelet, slightly smiling at it. You placed your hand on the other boy's cold one and gently rubbed it with your thumb. "How are you feeling?" You asked, it was your daily question.

  "F-Feel like... Shit..." Came the answer from him. You ran your hand through his white hair and caressed his face with your thumb. "I'll read you a book, do you want that, Ken?" You asked as his tired orbs slightly sparkled at the thought of you reading his favorite book to him.

  You took the book from the nightstand near your best friend's bed and flipped the pages. You sat on the bed and  repositioned Kaneki's head and pillow so that it was on your lap as you started reading the book Kaneki once loved so much.

  " _And he said, "Don't. Stay away from me, I'm a monster that can hurt you. You should be scared!"...._ H-Hey, he sounds so much like you, Kaneki! H-Huh? Ken?" You moved away the book and found him sleeping on your lap. "Hm. He must be so tired to skip this exciting part of the story, huh?" You whispered to yourself and smiled at the sleeping Kaneki.

  He slept for 5 hours straight and it began to worry you, you shook the ghoul and his sleepy eyes fluttered open. "Oh thank God, Ken. Were you that tired?" You asked and he smiled weakly.

  "H-Hide... Can you please buy me.... A can of... Coffee at t-the vending machine... Outside?" _Huh?_

  "Kaneki.. I don't want to leave you, I can make one for you, is that okay?" He shook his head.

  "I want the v-vending machine one... I-I missed them a-alot... Please, H-Hide?" It was really weird, why would Kaneki want the vending machine's coffee instead of yours? You had no choice but to go out and buy a can of coffee as fast as possible and get back to your buddy. You wore a slight warmer shirt and covered your friend with a thick blanket. "See ya, Kaneki," You said as you waved to him. You heard a soft voice from the boy whispering "Thank you for everything, Hide."

  You ran to the park nearby where you and Kaneki often hang out at. You crossed the bridge where you accidentally dropped something you loved into the river and Kaneki thinking out a way to get it. You ran pass the shop where you bought your first earphone and sharing it with Kaneki. You sped pass the bookstore where Kaneki loved to visit. And finally, you went pass the hill where you and Kaneki celebrated new year.

  You stared at the vending machine and bought the coffee your friend wanted. You ran and ran back home then slammed open the door. You went in to Ken's room and found him leaning against the headboard in an uncomfortable position, his eyes were shut completely. He was so still, so very still.

  "Ken?" You whispered and ran towards the boy, you touched his face, his skin was cold.

**No response.**

  "K-Ken... This isn't funny. H-Hey..." Your voice began to shake.

  **Nothing at all.**

You held his shoulders and shook him violently. "B-Buddy! W-Wake up! Come on, K-Kaneki!" You began to scream at the other. You expected a response from the ghoul, maybe a gentle "Hey", maybe a playful smile, or a smirk, maybe a weak laugh, maybe even opening an eye and staring at you, anything, **anything.** You just wanted a simple response from him.

  **Nothing happened.**

Your breathing was uneven. His face was pale and his lips were slightly parted, his face seems so peaceful. You attempted to shake him again, no matter how hard and violent you shook the boy, you still got no response from your best friend.... You began to shiver, your eyes becoming watery as well.

  You sat next to the lifeless body of Kaneki and saw a shiny thing on his cold palm. You gently grabbed his hand and take a closer look of the shiny object. Then it hit you, tears raced down your cheeks as your eyes widened in fear and sadness. You were shaking so very violently, you couldn't control yourself right now.

  **_In Ken's palm was the freindship bracelet that had your name 'Hide' on it._**

You recalled the boy's words, _'See? It's a pair of bracelet for you and me, it means that_ _ **we'll be there with each other if we wear it on or just hold it,**_ _it's kinda like a friendship bracelet'._ Even though you're not here, the bracelet represented you, so he died with you right by his side, holding his hand while he took his last final breaths. You held his icy hand and cried, you cried until you had no more tears left.

                                                                  

  "K-Kaneki... W-Why, why d-did you purposely a-asked me t-to go outside a-and buy you a-a cup o-of coffee? W-Why, K-Ken....?" You hiccupped through your tears. Maybe he dosen't know he will die that soon? Maybe he just wanted the vending machine's coffee? Or maybe....Maybe... He dosen't want you to see him leave...

  "P-Please Ken... T-Take m-me with you..." You felt like you had no more reason to live on anymore. But then you thought of Touka, Hinami.... Heck, even that crazy ghoul Tsukiyama.. You thought of the promise you and Kaneki made...

  "Give me strength to l-live on... K-Kaneki... I promise y-you... I'll s-stay strong..." You whispered to the lifeless ghoul and pulled his motionless body close to your warm one. You clunged onto the boy as if his body will vanish if you let go. "I-I'll stay strong.. F-For you... For Touka-chan.. H-Hinami-chan... A-And all the people y-you love..."

  You noticed a letter beside Kaneki, it was for you. You hesitantly unfolded it and began reading the letter he gave you. "K-Kaneki..." You murmured as you shakily folded the letter and leaned forward to kiss your best friend's cold forehead.

  With tearstained cheeks you stood up and glanced at the clock, 11:55P.M., you promised your deceased friend that you would go there, no matter what. So you walked out of the room, wore your jacket, and sped off.

  It was around 11:59P.M. when you reached your destination. You grabbed the bracelets and placed them on the rock. Shifting to a more comfortable position, you smiled.

_**Everything here is still like last year, huh, Kaneki?** _

" _ **5...4...3...2...1... Happy new year, Kaneki,"**_ You silently counted down and celebrated new year with no one, for a moment you still felt like Kaneki was right by your side, smiling happily and cheering with you. _S_ _taring at the crowd, oh how excited they are, kids on their beloved parents' shoulders, maybe trying to reach the silver moon? There are also a few people hanging off scaffolding to get a better view, maybe a better view of the stars? Or the_ _moon?_

  T _he fireworks, the best thing to admire on this memorable day, some fireworks shoot straight up before exploding into thousand of sparkles, some whirled in a spiral. The fireworks were oh-so colouful, thousands and thousands of them were glimmering in the sky, maybe it is a hope for this new year?_

  You shed tears as you stared at the night view.

  **_"Kaneki, we've waited for this day to come since last year... But... Why aren't you here to celebrate with me?"_**

_**"365 days, Kaneki...** _

_**365 days...** _

**_I'll... I'll always love you, Kaneki_ ** _**Ken.** _

   **_Rest in peace..._** ** _My dearest friend_** ** _._** "

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

_'Hide,_

_Thank you for_ _everything._ _Thank you for spending time with me, thank you for taking care of me, but most important, thank you for making me happy in my last 365 days of living.... I'm sorry I have to leave you, but please know I'll always be with you, even if you can't see me._

_I know I said this before, but Hide, remember to stay strong when I'm gone, if you ever think of suiciding because of me, I will haunt you; I'm serious Hide, don't you dare._

_Just... Take care of yourself, promise me, Hide._  
  
_Be happy and live on without me, I promise I'll always protect you from above. Don't be scared, alright? It's okay to cry sometimes. You are a strong boy, and you will always be._

_I love you, Hideyoshi Nagachika, I love you to the ends of earth, I love you to the moon and back. No matter what, it will always stay the same._

_Never forget that._

_-Kaneki Ken.'_

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I cried three times writing this D:


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